First Officers Log: Day 1 and 2

Day 1: Peanut Soup

I couldn't sleep last night. It was a combination of excitement and the stupid dog barking down the street. I woke up at 5:30 am est, showered and we got in the car and waved Memom good bye for the next 18 days. We drive west through PA, and all I have to say is, one Lancaster sells like Cow Shit, and two Pumpkin Pancakes are delicious!

We stop at Dinosaur Land, which as its name would leave you to believe is awesome. For most of the day we drive down Skyline drive in Virginia. The weather is nice its quiet and the scenery was very beautiful. For lunch we pull off west to go the Southern Kitchen as recommended to me by Gina, my lovely lady’s momma. I have the peanut soup also as recommended. I was a bit hesitant, seeing it looked like melted peanut butter, but general consensus…Delicious! The rest of the food was great too, and if your ever in New Market, VA you should go. I also enjoyed eating next to a stuffed dear head!

After lunch its back to Skyline Drive and down to some Natural Bridge (its supposed to be one of the 7 natural wonders of the world). Turns out its also expensive so we decide to skip it. What I saw next made my day! Professor Clein’s Haunted Monster Museum nearby had “Dragula” (Grandpa Munsters car from The Munsters.) How cool is that? I convinced Pappy to go an bought us two tickets. You go in through a cell door surrounded by a skull! We meet Professor Clein himself, who is quite the character. He take us and two of his friends on the the tour. The place is all creepy inside and though a little hokey I love it. I took his portrait after the tour with this Dead Elvis Mannequin which had formed a beehive on its crotch.

Finally we arrive in Tuggles Gap, VA our final destination for the day. Were staying at the Tuggles Gap Restaurant/ Motel/ Gas Station. First we drive past a what seems like a never-ending view of cows and hay bails. We pull up to the only Motel I’ve seen for over 100 miles, and pappy thinks this is not it. Regardless it was seeing there were clearly no other hotels named Tuggles Gap Hotel anywhere in site. This fine establishment looks like something out of a bad horror movie. We go into the restaurant/ check in office, to meet lets call her Tara (cause I didn’t catch her name.) We sit down to order our food and I get a fine Pennsylvanian Lager (Yueling for those who don’t know.) I go out to call my lovely lady and find out theirs no signal. I smoke a cig and see Tara doing the same. We chat about cell service in the area for a bit and I find out there is none! After this Tara asks if she can look at my tattoos. We get to talking some more and I find out she does tattoos out of her kitchen at home. This just seems to right for this place, but I continue to listen. She talk more about her awful tattoos and then I go inside to eat. The food was meh, but I was starving so of course I ate it. After dinner we check into our room. A fine room it is, no TV (what a shocker!) my bed has stains and cigarette burns on the blanket, but the bathroom is surprisingly nicer than mine in Brooklyn. I am at a loss with out the internet and TV, but I do have beer and my computer so its not all bad.




Day 2: Two Cars Does Not Constitute Traffic!

Again I had a hard time sleeping last night. The lack of technology burned my brain and their was several bugs the size of my hand in the room fluttering around all night. I eventually just put it in my head that we were camping outside and somehow that made it seem better. We awoke at 6:30 am est, I showered and we had breakfast at this quaint little place in a town nearby Tuggles Gap. I had the French Toast which was a bit to soggy for my taste, and Pappy had an omelet. Afterwards we continued down the Blue Ridge Parkway. I couldn’t help but fall a sleep for a bit due to the beauty and peace the road had to offer (unlike the motel the previous night.)

Most of the day was spent there on the road, we stopped at a trading post and picked up some delicious fudge, and stopped down the way at the Blue Ridge Viaduct. It was a beautiful drive and we saw basically no one on the road till the last hour or so. Pappy was getting very angry because there was a lot of “traffic” but I had to inform him that two cars in front of us did not constitute traffic! Our destination for the afternoon was the Biltmore Estate in Ashville, NC. It’s the largest home in North America. The place had something like 350 rooms, over 300 acres of farm and countryside. There was a billiards room, bowling alley, smoking lounge, gun room, 3 kitchens, indoor heated pool, indoor garden with these amazing wood trusses and mechanical windows. It was all built in 1889 and opened it in 1895. There was just so much detailing and craftsmanship everywhere you looked. They had old prints, tapestries, paintings, and my favorite…Napoleons personal chess set. We walked through the house and then across the grounds for a few hours and then got back on the road. I drove the last leg from Ashville. It was about 200 miles and smooth sailing most of the way.

When we got into Tennessee I saw a sign for Pigeon Radio! OMG it was ridiculous. The guy on there was talking about his sheep or some farm animal for like 10 min and then there was some comedy I couldn’t make out due to the road noise and his thick southern accent. I also got into a little race with this girl who looked like someone I knew in college. She was around 18 or 19, a pixie haircut with purple bangs and she was driving a Mazda. We went back and forth passing each other for a bit, but if anyone asks I totally beat her.

Our final destination for the day is the Best Western in Harriman, TN. I was so excited to learn upon our arrival that they have WIFI and cable!! The only place to eat was a multitude of chain restaurants, so despite my best efforts we went to Ruby Tuesdays. After working there for 2 years the food just doesn’t look that appetizing anymore. Our hostess looked like my friend Kat in Brooklyn. I can't wait to sleep air conditioning tonight!

Instead of ending today with a quote I want to say something about the news events of today. I recently found our about MJ kicking the bucket. Though I was a fan back in the day and thriller will always rock I feel this tragedy is receiving too much news distracting us from the real tragedy of the day. That is the loss of former hottie and Charlie's Angel, Farrah Fawcett. If your up there somewhere Farrah, your poster helped me through some tough times as a teen, and I thank you for it!

-Vaya Con Dios!


Click the picture below to follow Yoda as he makes his own trip across the country.